driving Rachel sallow Toyota through the Golden Gate Bridge to the dentist pull wisdom teeth. Echoing the gorge and inlets, high cable-stayed the iron chain, shuttling between the wind, maneuvering speed, the lips a lit cigarette. In a short span of the bridge the road, things I forgot. I do not know why many people choose to want to commit suicide jumped off this bridge, this should be a people Transcendence earthly place. Or, those people hysterical accumulate heavy sad, they do not want longer follow the bridge to deal with extreme world. They are willing to end their lives in a place from heaven.
Golden Gate Bridge. The name of the dest point to live up to the gorgeous appearance of the bridge, like a suave romantic guy unfortunately called golden. Americans are too lazy in their names put in some effort and a few even the names are repeated thousands of years, let alone something. So I had to make hundreds of thousands of Euphemia.
I called Euphemia familiar call me Effie. This is the name I used in the United States. I was in China with the name of Qu Yi Yuan, but the name I have for a long time without, perhaps, never used.
I have a weird last name. Listen to at home, the Qu family on the guards of the Imperial the Mishina four products, the Emperors Patent life, my grandfather is a wealthy, large landowners. Family Trees have been destroyed when the raid of the “Cultural Revolution”, ancestral halls were burned, only graves are preserved in the mountains. But the family is to talk about, in order to look at the glory days, but refused to spend money and effort roots. Moreover, a lot of people like my father, like their homes.
makes me feel creepy, I heard from small family to cherish the memory of the grandfather was still alive a family wealthy, but happened to know the grandfather was forced to swallow the “land reform” in college Red Gong lethal. In my mind, has been a rich old people wearing a long robe made of fine silk, suddenly became a tucked tail life Laojing desolate object of the class struggle. But, compared to the tragic grandfather died, but also I think fear is the memory of family and Forgetfulness. Just past the glory of their obsession.
I am sad.
father refused the ridiculous and heavy era, and I talked about, he felt that I am not qualified. He just said to me: “Someday you will understand, must be adept at forgetting, because no matter what happened yesterday, what, today the sun will still rise they always want to live.”

I really do not understand. When I was young and a lot of things have too much idealized definitions and expectations. At that time my whole body is transparent, joy and anger are revealed in the face. At the time I like to tie the two tails child to school, head lowered eyelids, shy refused to accept the boy about to see a movie invitation. At the time I like to wear plain dress, in Luo Manqing ash and gingko Yates University of road sections and the line. At the time I love to read the text of of Sanmao a splendid infinite sadness, in particular, want to hear “Red Dust” Luo and Sarah Chen duet:
initially casual, and the juvenile is not the world. Red in love, because that life is a hurry without a word of stalemate. Such as earth fault, or the spread of the causal past. Lifetime, they will not hesitate to return for the moment the exchange of yin and yang.
Red waves blowing hot and cold westerly adult. Later that day comes. I finally realized that the father words: one must be adept at forgetting, because people live.
In order to live, I choose to go to the country nostalgia to give up a unique name, deliberately forgotten wisdom teeth pulled.
the car parked in the tall London plane trees. Turn off after the car, I heard the hoarse singing of the birds in the dense canopy of sycamore. Crows. Although not how beautiful voice, but the rhythm can be judged only crow today good mood.
into the clinic, to see the Doctor, Lee,. He look at me as if on the execution ground and gravely, with a smile said to me: “Take it easy, one would like, not at all hurt.”
Injected local anesthetic, the neck does not twist , but no numbness to the mouth. Lee embarrassed to say can not increase the dose, coupled with injuries to melon head. Her my advice carefully: “pull it?”
Thought for a minute, I reluctantly said: “pull it, always want to pull pull live.”
Lee said: “Okay, just a moment. will not hurt.”
a moment later. Wisdom teeth removed from my body. Leave a flesh rippling secret wound.
I do not squeak uproar barking. But really hurt hurt. Pain out of the tear. I am afraid that I brought from home more Fenbid stretch finished, also can not stop the pain of mouth badly avalanche.
sitting in Lee office waiting for anesthetic drugs to disappear. I looked out the window of the plane, and efforts to search for the raven perched on top of the branches of which one.
a white coat to wear a mask, a man came in, a cup of coffee handed my hand. I nodded to him to thank. With him in the eye the moment, I found her eyes grow pneumatic English people, clean and bright, eyes black hair and yellow skin. Appears to be the same as living with me the compatriots of the foreign land. More bizarre is exposed under his white lab coat, dark sweat pants and bright white sneakers. Not previously seen a male assistant. Lee is wearing a suit and shoes, and his female assistant was wearing a skirt and high heels. I wear sweat pants and sneakers.
six years later he returned to campus, the first and grand procrastination makeup, hair style, dress, high heels and say goodbye. The daily bar one muffled in a pony tail and wearing long to casual clothing, Xijinqianhua more easily. Eyes a Zhizhong things fade can not afford. This point people may not pay attention, but I know.
drink coffee, I feel the pain gradually faded, and almost recovered all perception, and so got up and left.
“I think I am ok, and go first to you on behalf of me and Lee say goodbye.” I used English and white coat.
Who knows, the Chinese response: “Yes.”
a little bit wrong with feeling. I am used to using a foreign language and talk to strangers in a foreign country, even though we have never and Lee said in English. Nick recent performance in Chinese, English is enough security. I have been happy Hupenghuanyou droves age. The owner I have owned all of the lost, I already lost count them out. Moreover, it is in the human Shudan attended to all U.S..
I paid a courtesy smile, said something to him alone Thanks.
he still insisted that the Chinese: “Do not mention it, I l take you to the door.” white coat
me to the door, I was ready and he said Bye, he suddenly said to me: “Today is the winter solstice, it is recommended that you go to dinner, dumplings. not chilled ears.”
I laughed: “California, exposure to cold weather will not give me the opportunity.
I said Chinese.
Solano, plus openings laugh dumplings taste very good. “
he took off the mask, I could show my good-looking smile. This is a slightly childlike face. The reason may be fine facial features a bit too far off can not afford to babyface breath. I guess the worst they can do early twenties head. Ten years ago, I might perhaps be interested in this handsome guy, but hold no vibration. Precisely, nothing can cause shock.
one I could not help but ask: “how do you determine that I must understand the Chinese?”
He laughed again. The kind of naughty are not afraid of middle school students will be some laugh, an infectious laugh.
I looked at him curiously.
hear you, I bring you coffee and whispered: ucking pain “
-” I laugh .
“Well, thank you for the opportunity, I will definitely eat the dumplings openings laugh. goodbye!”

forget Where did you see the sentence: the lonely smoke. I am fascinated by the smoke inside my mind. The smoke is rising in the air I love the experience. The cigarette is extinguished in the darkness, I love Italian cold disheartened. If anyone could make me not obsessed with me and called to him live Long live.
I did not go to the opening laugh, but eat a little home reserve of Oreo cookies. Obsessed with Oreo I have the same habits over the years. But I felt vaguely that here Oreo China to sell the delicious, despite the U.S. origin.
tooth micro a bit strange feeling, does not allow me to eat. I smoke. Smoke Marlboro, Light then Oreo points to give pizza. Pizza is my neighbor, Paul raised a bitch, Paul also raised another bitch called Arthur. I asked Paul why raising two dogs, he said that the pizza took office tenants leave, could not bear to throw away, of Arthur are good friends to send, can not refuse. Paul said: “The dog is too many, because the dog turn around you are loyal to you, the more the feeling of the emperor; Young cats but you wait on Da, it is a masochistic tendency people love the dry matter
Arthur is an excellent variety of the Siberian Husky, very beautiful. But blankly, not aggressive. Most of the time in sleep and sleep when someone walks around it is also aware that not come out, be sure to knock its head was awakened, is stupid. Enough to pizza is a mixed origin of the short legs and fat Silky dog ??ugly, but very, very smart. Know how the wind blows, know how to bully, to know how to flatter to please, and know how to Gouzhangrenshi.
I asked Paul like what the dogs, he said, liked, Arthur is the lover, pizza is the wife.
I asked Rachel to like dogs, she did not answer directly, but asked me: “a clever but ugly woman, and a beautiful but dull woman, you appreciate more what?” < br />
listened to the words of Rachel and I decided to go like pizza, although I prefer silly of Arthur.
Pizza eat Oreos. Since I gave it to eat Oreo, it also is particularly sticky me. I have come to like from the bottom of my heart from the pizza. This like a very complex, is blended with a sense of disgust, degenerate sense. Looked at the pizza photograph to curry favor with the shamelessly cheap like you like to kick kick kick over, and it whines twice sticky over one to curry favor with lie, the kind of cheap. Do you think it does Pei Buqi your love, only to afford your contempt; But if you just happy charity it is a good face, it will be happy like downtown insane, but you will give birth to a condescending comfortable feeling. You think to reduce identity, although his mouth, disgust, and sense of depravity.
understand these later I am the one hand, helpless, on the one hand can not be reconciled. I finally completely enlightened the fundamental reason that I would be rejection of the Wu Sen. I re-select, and he told me goodbye when I was and he said the ok. Though the end of an eight long-distance love, though very reluctantly. But I really can not be reconciled, really refused to compromise. Love without language, two people should have enough confidence. I believe the other is love yourself, I believe that love will have two people are an upgrade, I believe two people can keep going forever. If the party does not yet have enough confidence, it is because the two sides did not train enough understanding.
Wu Sen said: “Yi Yuan, we break up I tired I so tired. always a pure and noble appearance, superior appearance, unaware like you a good girl, really, on this point my life do not deny, but so tired of people you know? I do not have the privilege of guarding you, I going to marry Carrianna. she loved me so many years of love so so enthusiastic loyalty, she is willing to sacrifice everything for me. the, the Carrianna is a secular woman, but with her I feel more relaxed, I love even more sure. I just want an enjoyable day. “< br />
I saw him quite a while. I was completely shocked, speechless. I saw him look really very painful and very tired. So my eyes a little bit dim. I have pain, heartache, pain was speechless. Finally, I bit his lip briefly one: “Well, we broke up.” Finish this sentence, I bite my lips, and suddenly tasted the taste of their own blood.
I admit that a lot when I was terribly stubborn, dull lack of change does not seem the Carrianna as smooth and slick the best of both worlds, harbor excessive expectations and over-insist on some things. I was born like this like this.
entertaining dinner I always performance embarrassed fumble, Carrianna can work together to drink four bottles of beer, still and calm demeanor laughing. />

face made a mistake subordinates I always try to maintain to help them clean up the mess, the Carrianna but it abuse was discredited by a few took the opportunity to wage deductions or simply relentless allow subordinates to leave.
Wu Sen won an order or apply for a loan embarrassed when I can, accompanied at the side of a hurry, Carrianna can quietly get the contract and then casually handed the front of Wu Sen.
I was born like this: Bulkhead stuffy brain behind the times. Rigid stiff lack style. I would rather be better to die is not to your guns.
the Carrianna have teeth I said: “Qu Yi Yuan, is unconscionable fellow, I am surprised that you actually live in a healthy way to now, but I sure you will be punished for sure. “
, she said, and I to be punished. Love boyfriend do not want me for eight years. How should I? Change myself? Against their will to do done to make my own nausea own thing? Compete in the market for flame Yingyinggougou in official circles? Like Carrianna as to unrelated people to sit on the benefit of the people ogle? Cried and cried, clutching Wu Sen clothes, I beg you do not leave me you want me to do anything?
I can not do. People should be quasi-words alive. There are a number of principles can not give up. Love is not the begging from.
is not it? – Is not it? Wu Sen,
Wu Sen, tall and handsome, riding a broken bike in my class, Wu Sen kiss me gently, gardenia tree Wu Sen, took my hand in a late-night street running on the Wu Sen, Wu Sen, gave me roses and exquisite diamond ring. We have together happily eat street vendors, recognize each other eye pupil color; I once socks reason to call him, has MSG survive his criticism; he said to me girl I earn five million married, I said yes we got married as soon as you were born twins; we used to talk about the blue dream of the past and a bright future design, to talk about is not as long as the hug can not let the time where we are far from to go.
blink of an eye, hug the body apart. Time is running out Nishajuxia. Wu Sen, said: “We break up.” Even though I was so willing to reluctantly as I or strong calmly said: “Well, we parted.” I did not ask him to stay did not retain. A silence, I heard the voice of love I killed. Love us to kill the sound.
“Red Dust” how to sing? To easily come and go hard to the decades of this world tour. Points easily separated poly difficult to gather, love and hate eternal sorrow.
– do not want to. Want to no avail.
smoking. Teasing the pizza. To see the film.
saw Rachel recommended a French film, the Chinese name should be translated as “Liangxiaowucai”. See before Rachel said to me: “look, do not analyze, and close to tears.”
Seriously, I watched my tears fall down easily.
associates, two people, a man and a woman. Million a game. Liangxiaowucai childhood has been playing to the ashes of the end of life. Called a “dare” game. Dare to love. Dare to death. Dare the end of time never separated.
CAP the OU the PAS CAP?
Where did you see or can not remember the sentence: we all taste the taste of loneliness. Close the screen bed. How I can not sleep. Because the smoke in my eyes tired.

a winter without snow. Spring break after the new semester began.
a Chinese Department of East Asian newly hired teachers set up a special interesting lesson: the Chinese art of calligraphy. In other countries, teachers salaries are directly linked to the reaction of his class with students. Lectures number less than five people, this course will be canceled; the end of the course, students generally expressed dissatisfaction or no gain, this course will be next semester had been closed. If course is canceled, not only economic damage, the reputation will be affected, which the professors but its not the face of things, so the professors have commenced will be quite cautious.
Chinese calligraphy is undoubtedly a bit off the point. What are print, and rarely need to handwriting. Calligraphy and a professional relationship is not really of no use. The students are mostly very busy and need to get credits to fight for the scholarships, wage, no one willing to spend valuable time learning useless things.
out of a naive and personality to appreciate sympathy, fear see compatriots embarrassment of kindness, I chose this calligraphy class. Or good bad word really the even look.
the first time on this calligraphy class, classroom, and sure enough I had expected, very few people, there is five or six. One sweep all the Chinese students, like me.
teacher is a 50-year-old middle-aged man, very humble and dedicated, have a gentle temperament of the older generation of intellectuals. Our eyes, almost grateful. For him only a few students are ready to wolf hair brush, ink and white paper, a class will be sent to us. The ink is packed in a small bottle waste, the White waste recycling paper, is a brand new brush. Watching it all I suddenly realized that this teacher was very cute.
lovely teacher asked us to write his name.
I just sat in their seats, and the hair tip in the bottle, dipped and dipped, I do not know where to start go. Originally he sent word, happens to also write my giant complex name, I began to regret taking this course.
is distress, a written paper with my name handed in front of me: “Qu Yi Yuan, is written like this?”
surprise lift eye view, turned out to be Lee clinic that I said.
“I had the honor and the beauty of the same school.” he was for me to show his good-looking too smile.
“Oh, Nice to meet you.” I smiled at him, regarded collar of his love. Even though I would seriously, did not need to appreciate favors can be corrected a proliferation of titles.
I was curious, how could he know my name? And to the complex name written?
asked him, he replied: “I have occasionally seen you three times. three rare probability event have you appear, I think, be called destiny.”
“Oh? three do?”
to visit the uncle I have not seen more than a decade just to meet you in his clinic to pull wisdom teeth. go to send the roommate fall bow, a short stay in the night I will not attend the Christmas party, just to see you sit in front of the piano playing “Jasmine” My roommate is a man of the day performing the erhu to the teaching center volunteer, I responsible for the collation of student information, just to see your enrollment card. I saw your name in Chinese and I think this is a unique name. Do not you think, all coincidence? “
He laughed. Laugh really good.
“Well, What a coincidence.”
my lukewarm response to and did not let his smile froze. Him to pull the paper in front of me in the past, flamboyant write words with a brush held against my face, and then said to me: “Liyuan Chen, this is my Chinese name, English name is Owen, but I want you to call I Liyuan Chen
he still smile look great.
I had to laugh. Courtesy laugh. For friendly, but also for self-protection.
see the teacher came to my side, Liyuan Chen walked away. Walked away look in my eyes, still with the warm smile. Kind of do not see me for a long time without the things he argued that the boy smiling eyes.
I noticed he was wearing a clean black and red color with sportswear, white shoes, glowing fresh luster.
look at myself, I wore a dark blue sportswear and khaki canvas shoes. Suddenly felt a little embarrassed. Like a false age like a guilty conscience. In the bottom of my heart, in the face of the youthful face, I have no small self-esteem.
teacher came up to me, looked at two pieces of paper on my desk, with appreciation, said: “Well, the writing is good.”
class.
I packed a bag and walked out of the teachers. Liyuan Chen followed up.
boyish face. Childlike disposition. Childish behavior. He said: “I think the more you eat, you can?”
Deadpan, retorted: “Why?”
Her breath, spit it out laughed again, saying: “a beautiful girl to eat, do not need reasons.”
I asked him: “You e a what?”
“ah?”
“Zodiac.”
“is a dog.”
“You are a dog, I am the dragon. There is no pretty girl, only the beautiful sister. “
Liyuan Chen a time to speak. He really was a child.
I took the opportunity and he said goodbye, waiting for him to answer that turned away.
corridor is very noisy. I am confused their footsteps to hear crystal clear, so decisive and so no doubt. Like mean to step on the broken pavement, stamped out the slightest crack a Road crack.

spring in the eyes, slim, I side more than five suitors. If the forward several decades, I will how much a little smug, but I think you swear that now there will not be but a little triumphant. Some just feel bored. I experienced and knowledgeable to help the mind of all the suitors very thorough, easy to tear up all illusion.
the pursuit of one of the students will know on Christmas Association Vice President, Ben. When he asked me to introduce myself, with emphasis stressed the title of the Students Union Vice President, I think we are not all the way. As for him, how much sincere or insincere, I feel disinclined to spend more time to identify the.
pursuit of bis, who is I can not remember the name of the British. Trying to hide his body tried to hide the body odor and sprayed too much perfume. Mere breath, I put him to pass out. Moreover, I understand the psychological adventures always prevail in him.
pursuit of those three is a statistically from a prestigious university, Dr-time students. Traditional mediocrity of his pursuit of the way and step by step: roses, sent by the courier company the Trustee transferred to the chocolate, quietly caught in my books, concert tickets. Whether the investment of money or self-esteem is not large. Brought the matter forward, see bad on the back. So he statistics to the three inputs no benefits will stop investing.
pursuit by four of the apartment building next to the restaurant owner. Over 40 years of growing up in Taiwan, Li Kwok married man. He did not have any romantic confession, just a list of the conditions of both sides, trying to prove to me that I and his strengths and weaknesses of each short is basically the strength is quite good match. I feel ridiculous at the same time, still vaguely feel a little sad.
Spring is the season just around the corner. Nothing more.
pursuit of the five who Liyuan Chen, a little bit special little trouble. It is undoubtedly to be polite and restrained than the pursuit of the other four have played to be handsome. And he is younger than they should, so more solemnly.
long babyface little boy even in on this calligraphy class, with a brush filled with praise of the disgusting looking things tentatively be called a love letter, and then high school students love to use the transfer paper Article manner folded handed to me.
the first time I read. Reading proud Hing dim. This would have little interest happens to the child style of writing is not how good. Read the color of my leaving it tired, and disdain to tear up the place.
received the note I read did not read directly tear
I laughed, he put the pros and cons of the sheet with a transparent plastic stuck on. Tear will be very difficult.
learning computer Liyuan Chen in love is not very good at calculating. But he was very hard, the undecorated sincere and romantic. I think he really is sincere.
but what will happen?
young boy aficionados, the ultimate, I have personally experienced. I am convinced that this world is no longer in my heart what can set off as dramatically beautiful waves. Leave school, the young boy into a young man, he wanted to cause him to be a man sense of accomplishment, this time, he most wants is the money marks the success of the adult world. He gradually discovered, after working like mad to happen, no matter the girlfriend but a gaudy vase. The so-called love, but the clouds over the eye, nada, after they had, not worthwhile to take it seriously and thinking about in a moment.
CAP the OU the PAS CAP?
Perhaps you dare, I dare not.
I have been exhausted. I have not been touched. I have then an instant old quickly.
So, ah, the little boy, you put your passion in an age and as if the girl body. You love piety is sincere and worthy of an equally spotless really come back. Your youth is bright and imaginative, it should have an equally full and vibrant youth to match. Although the sea becomes mulberry fields, despite all the vows will eventually vanish, you now Benedict defend aesthetic will be the complete overthrow, but I still want to bless you encounter love, believe in love Love, in anticipation of the encounter that encounter harbor the same pure, she is looking forward to the moment.
I did not put these words and said to the boy. I think even that is useless, and these have to wait until he went to my age he will understand. The only thing I can do is refuse, evade, breaking his thoughts.
Liyuan Chen I hit the confidence of getting smaller and smaller, but still, as always, the dedication. Calligraphy after school he would still keep up with me, a bit clumsy to repeat that invitation: “I can treat you to dinner?”
“I sorry, I busy.”
“No matter how busy have to eat we went the solano streets of Chinese restaurants to eat open laugh dumplings. we can sit in the position of the second floor window, where you can see the shop in the former governor of white magnolia, peach and pale pink. Now is the flower half-open half thank the most beautiful and charming. “
you have leisure to worry about the water falling, and I can only whine for the bill.”

“I ask you, do not pay you.”
I looked at the front of the young boy to make a gentleman look, feel a little funny.
I casually come up with so deliberately mocked tone asked him: “You are a lot of money?”
He asked: “How much is considered money?” said: “At the very least, one million dollars.”
little boy a little bit flushed. So cute.

time, always in the cycle, every day is a small cycle.
day, 7 o lock, when she and I will get up, and then hastily wash, came to the south end of the site and waiting for the bus before 8:00.
her to take the 332 road, I took 337, the same site, but toward a completely different destination, and even the direction is also forward shortly after the exact opposite.
her to the depths of the SAR, the skyscrapers, the suburbs, but to go back to off, clouds of crowded traffic jam factory.
after 9:00 every night when I off work rushed to the roadside waiting for 337, and she, being boiled with a warm and sweet meal waiting for me.
know her before I came to Shenzhen two years, but not very familiar with the bus in Shenzhen, and even, Shenzhen is not very familiar with a total has only been a few times, the customs, and are hastily.
now, she was always a joke 337 is my lover, each and other vehicles to see 337 to will that there will soon ready, and your lover to.
know her on this road 337 from the the manhole sea countryside to the Lo Wu Railway Station should be considered in long-distance bus car seems familiar so familiar.
I almost know every road car conductor, and their dialogue is always mechanical reported destination, manhole stations or South a new flyover.
that the so-called bus-line television program, but also well aware of, because that is not what TV shows are the same programs every day to put those silly ads, silly music, also inserted a paragraph seems to be silly so-called woman inexplicable programs.
along the site can be very familiar with the south end off the intersection of Bao An Wanjia, Baoan Square, Yu n intersection, hospital, Xixiang, Xixiang door, Chen days, measurements, Nantai flyover , Gushu …
Every night fell, bright neon lit city of romantic passion, looking out the window rolling traffic and busy people, and my heart flew to the SAR in the end, that she was waiting for my home.
each morning to go, I will categorically said that this must be in the past few days will be back, but every night after work when I have cited proud The willpower start knocking on my suffering heart, so they send text messages to her, saying that they want her to go home.
each morning to go, she will always be infinitely gentle stroking my haggard face, and gently said to me, these days do not come back, so that daily rush have to work too hard. But I send text messages to her time, she was soon back, then you come back, be careful on the road, do not worry, I l wait for you.
manhole station from the south head car to get off, smooth all the way without any signs of congestion, when about four or five minutes, but, in Fuyong manhole sections, almost no over all the way to completely smooth.
early morning ride, I have only three things to do, one bed, one listen to Chris Yu, one look out the window extremely familiar with the building and the rush of people.
like Chris Yu song many years, often in the lonely, a taste of the kind of wrenching pathos and fabulous secluded Yan sad.
heard countless times listen to the song “Fall in love with a man” when the eyes are a little Tide taste.
just Pro on the train when, I as in the past a day, like a gentle kiss her eyes, but found she was reluctant to part with the smiling faces, big eyes, a little edema, it is the last night she wept scars.
with her, we have never quarreled with him, but often because of some repressed does not belong on our troubled us, and we have each other inadvertently hurting each other.
can not remember exactly how much that night, we always sleep at night, tightly hugged silently flowing tears, has always had a knife to her hand-painted dog couple T-shirt all wet.
She was able to draw the one hand and a very beautiful picture, to know her in the forum, but to know her, but also because her paintings.
I do not understand painting, but at first glance, her paintings, just like the occasional time to wait for a thousand years of stunning, very delicate, melancholy paintings, accompanied by a number of exquisite melancholy words, no not tell Resentment Millennium, the lonely romance and legend of the Millennium.
from her paintings, her words, I taste of her talent, know that her strong appearance, refused to love the lonely broken heart, is very long for a real tenderness.
her self-portrait, it is my dream lover like the Yimei fluttering dance hair fluttering Ruofei the aura of a Zhang Suya Good Times, has read endless tenderness and charm. I like to watch “Ghost Story”, I think that Qishang change my life Love is the earth the most beautiful love, while the the Xiaoqian that Yao Yao charming, lazy, shy look Millennium the practice Millennium lonely, Resentment was so The heartbreak of the wavefront of people, without exception, deeply engraved in my heart.
always like to look at her self-portrait, she said again and again ten miles Pinghu frost sky, the mind begins to worry about Chinese year look Tsukigata single phase bitter, …… “Every I deliberately left the last one said, because she said occurred on hair only envy the duck does not envy the immortal “over.
her self-portrait, the eyes and eyebrows are very thin, curved crescent, but no nose, every time I deliberately painted himself too Mei, I looked like demon, like a snake, like Trimeresurus.
She always smiled, and said to demon woman, whether demon or a ghost or strange, as long as a woman, are the most mei, the most feminine, the most attractive man eyes, only so seductive, what the birth of Hu Mei words, also have since ancient times, the most poignant love what demons fox like, what the White Snake, sung through the ages, the years of what Xiao Qian Qi Yan, what Liao Zhaizhi billion different.
Moreover, she always said she grown too rough, I was too tough, especially with a big nose, so self-portrait, good to express themselves and cover up all the shortcomings.
Every time, I always laugh it off, I always feel that she is a southern bridges like scenery, such as deep valleys Orchids clear rhyme, such as the blue sky and clouds as elegant , such as the guzheng Lele, like meditation and pleasant, such as the Loulan myth of classical, such as snow-covered plateau holy girl, rough, it is always just a joke.
know her before, in a closed world, loneliness has been a very long time, every night, in the bitterness of beer in their own sad words in Chris Yu Qi Yan must love the songs, the fragrance of of faint the depressed Qishang the at Marlboro, in the fanatical football, staring out the window neon every lonely blink of an eye.
just when she began to chat, I was thinking, perhaps, we past a certain understanding, or rain, love, or hatred to rain, so we understand each other, with a total inadvertently on the other side to find a little of his own shadow.
We have the same incomprehensible suffering and fun childhood, we have the same injury, the same loneliness, we have the same talent, the same aspirations, and so on too much, even our home is so close to God so that we are now met, is completely a malicious joke.
QQ, has been somewhat forgotten network tool for us to already do not chat desires, only in that one moment, we invariably choose this every day flashing in countless cute penguin in the computer to send our every cry of sighs and recollections.
We have much to say, from her paintings, when it comes to my text, freely roam the Mobei once fierce brave and fierce Huns and xxx rise beyond the Great Wall, and with their iron heel and machetes to conquer the West, when it comes to war many little-known blood and fire of passion, from the snow-capped mountains holy lake on the xxx snow-covered plateau, mysterious, holy, distant, when it comes to the whirling dance in Yunnan moonlight Bambusa Multiplex and a beautiful young girl, as well as melodious interpretation of numerous of the most touching and most romantic of romantic legend Hulusi party talked about in the water from the “Book of Songs,” “A Dream of Red Mansions” Weak three thousand, from home the legend of the carp sperm, talking about Qu Yuan described by Xiang Jun Xiang Fu, from the Goddess of Mercy comes to Mazu, from the elegant and handsome guzheng music, when it comes to a poignant and Resentment Chris Yu songs.
often I work at night 9:00, has been talking to the morning, that seek confidant heart tremble has allowed us to did not have tired, after reluctantly bid farewell from the network, but also a long time difficult to sleep in bed tossing and turning.
and her time is always very happy, she has amazing talent and skillful hands, a little air, surprisingly, he still fights to cook one hand and very home is very warm and authentic dishes, always make me can not help but think of the absence of many years the home of home and taste.
her always in our clothes painted on a number of ingenious and delicate patterns, tightly holding her hand away when on the bustling streets around there are always some or jealous or envy eyes, that make me want to hold her tightly in my arms, put her into the eyes of my heart.
and I together, I always feel that she is happy, but I always feel, when we stare each other, each other eyes still, there is a deep scar, it is a species this has nothing to do with us but have to face wounds, every time you have seen the tears in her eyes flashed, my heart is always a strange thing tightly grabbing, wringing.
the scenery out the window long ago is not swift flash, “As Hou door like the deep sea!” Perhaps these words on the bus, it should be “As Fuyong deep as the sea.” car to this lot is not blocked, and an average length of time, a helpless look of time, she warned him after inviting the message again to almost nine late has been the inevitable when deep sleep would overtake my heart …………

Chris Yu “cure my” Maybe the world most Qishang love songs, listening to this song, tears always kept silent over the face, little by little drops in the pillow he slept.
“Although we see, hear, but can not run away forget, even the pillow of your hair into a torment, although you know I know, but the tears in the drift in Amoy, the heart over this sec This is a laugh, drink this evening antidote
on the pillow of his hair, but his taste, I can not forget feel nostalgic taste of last night, he lay quietly on the pillow, and I tightly shrink in his arms.
night, my apex seems to have a blood drop by drop in fall.
I have sent him numerous text messages, even to the last, SMS content, “You do not anything about the situation you back to my information, please?” is always such remained a dead letter.
I gave him numerous times, but each time only in the long wait to hear that sound almost mechanical I was heartbroken voice, “you call the phone no answer, please dial later … “.
day, I do not know the end is how to spend every morning, he returned to work to the time of the destination, always send a message to me reported that a safe, every in the excited medium to his message, I feel very warm.
SMS, his hair always have the feeling I pleased endless touch of poetry, as his text, and his melancholy.
However, I do not get him to respond to endless speculation I had already drowned, when we have wept for my injury when I have told him. If you want to leave me, must be resolute to tell me, do not slowly cold, I can not stand that kind of suicide, even the dead have to make a clean break, it really decided it really this is no longer with me have been implicated in the what.
now is the lanterns, and if the past, he had the night looking out the window breathtaking neon, as well as his lover 337 road car, and then send text messages to say that I think I want to home.
night wore on, I moved a non-stop non-stop his telephone number to hear that again and again came in my desperate voice. I can not sleep, despite the tears have been shed, dry, dry flow, I finally resorted to weak cowering in a corner, clenched the phone, begging him to hear me. Begged God not to let what happened to him.
The next day,
I began to frantically find out his message in the online help any one may be associated with him people, the only available news is no news like disappeared, I did so lost his, my phone never rang, only the call with his phone number, in addition to only the phone, I actually could do nothing
when I can not find him, I know, to leave our home, I know he is just a phone number, I know him, just in front of me, gentle, affectionate, as well as his floor in his arms docile. I did not even know the city in this deadpan, I touch not his time, he is just a string of numbers now, not even the connection of the string of numbers broken. Where should I go looking for him. Where should I go to get news of him.
this world has too many people, too many things, let us make things difficult, I always understood the definition of love is to leave no stone unturned not difficult for their loved ones, do not let him worry about. do not let him hurt, but we love but happiness should not but let us all sad ingredients, which have violated the original intention I had to like him, I always just wanted to resolve his grief with their gentle, but do not gave him there is pain. But he said he would slowly put down, he said I can not afford a lot of trouble, he will not leave me, Does he really what happened?
On the third day
I still strive to recall him I said he has friends, a careful search he had told me about his address, but I only know that he off outside a small town called manhole, but has never asked which station to get off work where I am only pleased, three days, although I am not from anyone about his news, but did not get any bad news, maybe he really is so decided it, so I thought, and remove the worry of another layer of meaning monograph for their own sorrow.
really a man, came into their own, I have been searching, even for a time despair, thinking that your own life is no longer possible to encounter such a he. We have too many similar places, never eat KFC, McDonald , we are more than not ticklish, but more amazing is that we had more than awareness training had not ticklish skills. A child, we like to eat fruit is bananas, and more than the experience of eating a banana peel. We will see a sunset at the same time think to send a message to each other. Chat, I always first step he would like to break out. However, such a person, such a soulmate feel, why should I now find. Want me so quickly lost, so without warning, there is no trace of a rotation room, do not give me the opportunity to cry in front of him, he said, he was afraid of my tears, perhaps, only in such a way he can do to pull off.

like a fire a week later burned the site in general, the days become wanted to fire, loss of color, no taste, silent solitude,
I knew, met him I e not afford to lose, no matter what, I have not lost. As he asked me, a person love is not exhausted, a person love can be divided into the number of copies, I used to think, have been exhausted in this life, love, no longer believe, But when he appeared, when he chatted with me from the desert the Yangtze River, sand smoke, how much I want your own heart to settle down in front of him, want him to quietly hand in old age, like the dust of history settled in the waters of time. Think of him as I wrote, “hold hands, and cried,” the unconscious discovered, we began to actually use so majestic was gone with the background.
but this has gradually become their own memories, once the warmth at less than warm my cold heart, I let the phone for 24 hours and turned it on work time blatant hanging QQ, just hope there is a miracle really, how many would like to say to yourself, no big deal, but how could I forget first met him joy, the happiness of his home, has to meet him, but the loss of pain belie all this, there is no hate, will not be able to hate, which is that he has sufficient right choice. I was destined to lose.
Three months later,
I still night holding him to send my flying pig to sleep, the life is a person to eat, work, sleep and return in the evening never go out after the home, painting, reading, just memories, became the most important elements still unconscious dial his phone number, never had to respond to, and my heart already well lost to prepare This is the last one the end. Despite no longer have the courage to expect miracle
he should not been so quickly forgotten, this house, he once said, is our home, quarrel at that time, I pouted said He put his clothes away, he said he still has the key, he was this man of the house. And now, his clothes in the closet still, I used to wearing a painted knife dog T-shirt to sleep, dressed in his coat in the dead of night, when reading at home, all that remains is his last leave look, I did not then house small pieces of furniture is rearranged, although always like the house has fundamentally changed, but he has not, I do all the things always feel dull. Is still a daily cooking, never in the previous work are too lazy to cook, because he was going home, so before they agree to spend a night time praise a pot of soup to do food meal is the most carefully first own delicious dishes, is actually the first time he eat at home that he was surprised I do dishes really good to eat, I suddenly felt embarrassed to twenty years, never one to boast yourself the food is delicious, and I know that the best intentions in the past twenty years. Waiting for him to go home, it became my greatest happiness to cook for him, watched him eating three bowls, or the whole pot of chicken soup, drink depleted satisfaction, they would understand, I realize I have been trying to happiness even so close at hand.
On the way home from work, I can not help but think of the once warm and sweet, bit by bit, when I think of these, and my heart is warm , but when I realized that they have completely lost his feel pain, worry about such revelation. Tears unknowingly swarmed to.
unconscious has come downstairs, looked up, but see the lights of the third floor window, they forget to turn off the lights, I thought to myself, do not know how many times to go out always forget to turn off the lights, I went upstairs, as usual, opened the door for good shoes, the kitchen ready to cook, rather abruptly, and a voice in the ears, “Jiji” …… < br />
Now, he is in front of me, I hugged him tightly, and I asked him three months, which went, he only said softly, “I l tell you, okay? not back, “I cried and laughed with a smile still tears, Tao Tao Xu Xu said, the language no matter. He stroked my hair, kiss dry I could not stop the tears of a fool, crying “
” You do not know how much I hurt? “

“I am back, you also sad ah!”
“I thought you never come back …..”
future together every day chatting, playing chess, eating, writing, painting, good or bad, every day, “
” grace ….

the door when I opened the door a long absence, as if all such as yesterday like a cordial and warm, like, I only yesterday from going out.
everything in the house, and the day I leave for three months.
on the table, she continues to depict the story of painting this, and my white Marlboro cigarette, I bought her a small windmill, buy Eileen Chang Collection, as well as She likes a few meters, Qian Haiyan painting this.
bed, quilt left her a touch of warm fragrance of her hair on the pillow, the dog I bought her a pink flying pig lying in that bed Dalmatians are well-behaved quilt, and my knife dog T-shirts were broken off good on the pillow, perhaps, last night, she also wore sleep it.
floor or, as always, clean, her shoes, my shoes neatly together, intimacy, I have a little jealous.
turn on the TV, CCTV-5 is actually just like yesterday, I looked like, but also I was surprised by the pillow under my T-shirt, actually pressing the latest one “Sports Weekly”, and countless she wrote my name in the newspaper.
looked at this warm and familiar, thoughts, guilt, tears of happiness immediately silent over the gaunt face, gently drop in the newspaper.
every day waiting for me, every moment has been waiting for me.
each lonely night, she must be wearing my T-shirt, wearing my coat a daze staring at the phone, it is the only thing we can be contacted on the tool.
no I in the day, she must cook food interest, always at the dinner, when the helpless huddled in the corner, let the flow of endless tears wash face haggard. She must be crazy over and over again with my name in the newspaper.
that she wants to use a brush paintings depict our story this everywhere she spotted the tears of the track.
open the closet, my clothes are neatly folded, and her clothes cling together, they are all together waiting for my return.
remember, there are times when we are angry, she said to take my clothes to express to me, to my address, I am anxious to say that I have a key, or that male master, really bring it, I will secretly pick.
results, she said, your clothes tidy lay the package, as well as her own, when I pack away! that sentence, we l sit one hour car ran home tightly held her in his arms, until her breath.
closet there are two new shoe box, opened it open, I immediately such as a shock, and the body are excited to have severe trembling.
that a pair of canvas shoes in addition to exactly the same size outside couple of shoes, she painted a blue-black and white background, such as the Inter Milan jersey that color, and she also Inter flag drew up, the paint is extremely delicate.
I can easily imagine the degree of the intentions of the time she painted two pairs of shoes before she knew I liked the team Inter Milan, Inter Milan just one team, it can be said for football